Her article will serve as a worthy basis for us to go a little deeper into this subject of male "objectification" in female mate preference. Let's look at some of the note-able quotes from the article.
"[S]omething strange and unacceptable in our culture has happened where women think it's ok to publicly slate their petite counterparts, and dismiss them romantically, based on their height.If you don’t believe me, you need only look at the statistics. Data compiled by OK Cupid shows that being a shorter man is considerably less advantageous in the dating world, with taller guys consistently receiving more messages and getting more sex from women than the vertically challenged."
Even though it is their right to choose men based on any criteria they want, we have to admit that women choosing men based on their height and then turning around and telling us they merely want a good man is extremely dishonest and it's every bit as shallow as men choosing women based on their breast measurements. And yes men should have that right as well. The Ok Cupid data is always extremely interesting to look up and the fact that Charlotte utilized that data demonstrates how keen her eyes are for cutting through the bullshit women(and men) often tell us concerning their mate preferences.
"This sentiment is now reflected on dating apps such as Tinder, where women's profiles often include height requirements."
As shallow as men can be sometimes, I have never heard of men having a breast size requirement listed in his dating profile. So if men are shallow for at least having the decency to keep their breast size preferences to themselves then what does it say about women when they list height requirements in their dating profiles?
"But what especially vexes me is this double standard of women criticising and making fun of short men, then expecting them to tolerate all different types of weight (which isn't even a fixed state). For a man to openly reject a woman because he found her fat would be social suicide."
This part of the article almost elicited a standing ovation from me as she keenly shined light onto the extreme double standard exhibited by women on how they expect men to accept them despite being heavier than average while shunning men who are shorter than average. Psychology Today did an article on female mate preference where it also mentioned height requirements but it let us in on more insight into WHY women lust for taller men and don't see short men as capable partners.
"According to a University of British Columbia study (2011), it's not only height to which women are drawn. The study found that the social and emotional image a man presents was crucial to sexual attraction. Specifically, the study found that women were least attracted to smiling, happy men, preferring those who looked proud and powerful or moody and ashamed. This finding supports all those tabloid-esque articles in women’s magazines which suggest that women love the bad boys, and that may be part of the problem: Women just don’t believe short men can be bad boys"
According to this, the bad boy preference is probably one of the underlying reasons why women often shun short men. So just how extreme is this height requirement women expect in prospective dates? Do they really shun a high enough percentage of men for this to really be a concern. Well just take a look at how fanatical one sample of women were about height requirements according to the New York Post.
"It’s a tall order dating women in the Big Apple.The likelihood that a man under 5-foot-9 is contacted by a Manhattan or Bronx woman online is a scant 1.2 percent, with Brooklyn coming in with a paltry 2.4 percent response rate"
As you can see, less than 6% of women in the sample would date a man who was shorter than average. I have never in my life heard of anything showing me that less than 6% of men would exclude women with small breasts as potential dates or women who were heavier than average. Sexual and physical objectification is a hot topic these days and particularly the way men are accused of always objectifying women, so the next time the subject of comes up in your day to day life, just keep this information in mind.
This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the women who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH. And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.
ReplyDeleteOne 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to. I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches. She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men. On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all. Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.
This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection. Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry. I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality. No. The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height. Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me. (I did date one girl for 3 years when I was in college, who was 5’8”.)
I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”. (I am 5’8”) And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog. No doubt, all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking. These women were past their prime and worried. I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years. It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did. When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife. I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age. Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them. I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier wouldn’t have given me the time of day. And even now, may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them. I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women. Why go old, when I could go young?
I am now married and have 4 sons. I have 3 degrees, and I have co-authored 2 US patents. I could have provided a good life to any girl. I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance. I was turned down consistently and without a second thought. SO, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN YOUR LATE 20’S OR EARLY 30’S WITH NO PROSPECT OF A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF. There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity. And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man until it is too late. So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them. By the way, another tie in with this article and be found at this web site.
http://shortguycentral.com/P-57/beware-of-the-reformed-heightist-woman
Males, titled “Why women lose in the dating game”
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html
Then there is the true hate monger of short men, as found at this site. https://nazamwasi.com/2016/02/09/short-man-sydrome-getting-over-it/
I had been divorced for about 2 years. I had time on my hands, and since I was a member of a health club, I decided to start working out, again. I worked out on a set schedule and time and after a while you recognize people who are on the same schedule and time as you. There was an attractive women, I would have guessed as being 5’ 9” or 5’ 10” tall. One evening, she was working out on a machine that was about 30 feet from where I was. She was alone, and I thought this would be a good time to approach her and ask her out. I thought to myself, ”Nothing ventured, nothing gained”. I walked over to where she was and said these exact words. “I have seen you work out here for the past several months, and you are in great shape and very attractive, and I would like to know if you would care to go out sometime?” This is what she said to me. “I can’t believe you came over here!” “I can’t believe you said that!” She then stuck her index finger in my face and said, ”I don’t date shorter men!” (I am 5’8”.)
ReplyDeleteI was in total shock. I didn’t know what to do. I stopped listening to her, for I was trying to figure out a way to save the conversation. I was trying to figure out what I had said to make her so angry and fix it. It was then I realized I had only asked her out, and my only sin was that I did not meet her height requirement. So I turned and walked away while she was still venting.
I posted this little article in another site, but later wondered if the women rejecting me was a good thing. Why? Does anyone think that this woman’s only character flaw was heightism? Heightism might be the tip of the iceberg of her irrational thought patterns. After all, she flew into a rage over me just asking her out. What other triggers would do the same? I don’t ever have to worry about being in a relationship or marrying her, some unsuspecting tall guy gets her all to himself. Oh what a lucky guy he will be. Sure glad it is not me.
Why should any slim, athletic, or healthy man date obese women? I think obese women should date obese men, since they are on the same level.I hate fat acceptance, we have an obesity epidemic and fat women are asking men to accept them. What next, are anorexic woman going to demand that men also accept them as they are? Things like height or lack of it, or skin color or eye color and so on are not health hazards, obesity is a health hazard.Do some research on obesity, it is disastrous to peoples health and must be addressed before it's to late.
ReplyDeleteI do not understand why some people put such an emphasis on how someone looks, in terms of being friends with them or be in a relationship with them. When will these particularly shallow people realise that there are so many crucial character traits, talents, skills and gifts that need to be recognised and assessed when trying determine whether someone is a enough good person to be in a relationship with. On the other hand, people who recognise important human characteristics will chose correctly, have good children and ultimately live better lives.
ReplyDelete